ArsenalShorts Exclusive...
We've not had one for a while, since the ahem... unveiling of Angel Di Maria as our exciting new signing, but today's Exclusive features everyone's favourite roly-poly fun-filled, philandering midfielder. Arise Frank Lampard, ok stay there if you're struggling. Frank has revealed plans for his new venture, a TV Channel entitled Wa--- sorry, FrankTV. You must remember the days when ArsenalShorts used to be funny, and we used to knock stuff like this out for fun - no, us neither, but here, have a read anyway...

Quote of the Day... (well, yesterday)
"There was a good sign in the dressing room because they were all blaming each other..." Martin Jol focuses on the good points of Top Four Tottenham's last gasp defeat at the Stadium of Light, and the end of their unbeaten season plans...

No Silva Lining...
Gilberto Silva is slightly peeved at not being handed the Captains armband following Jeremie Aliadiere's move to Middlesbrough. Sir Wenger has long been a fan of a centre back Captain, and William Gallas has been handed the responsibility, but Silva isn't too pleased: "Of course I was surprised because I was captain all last season when Henry didn't play, and after his move to Barcelona I naturally thought I would be this time, Arsene is the manager and it is his decision and I have to accept that..."

He went on: "Life goes on and I will get on with my job like I always have, but I was surprised he didn't speak to me about his decision. He had the time to do it because I was at the training ground before it was made public. He didn't say anything to me and I just found out about it that evening when I saw it on the Arsenal website, ArsenalShorts. I wasn't upset about not being captain, but I was about the way I learnt about it. I will give the same commitment to the club that I always have. This is an important season..." Bit ominous that imo.

'Fourth': Wright
Record breaking goalscorer Ian Wright has said in the The Sun that we will fnish fourth at best this season. He's obviously not researched the facts properly as Top Four Tottenham are already filling fourth place, and Newcastle, Man City and Bolton are next, so fourth is a pipe dream. In a depressing old article IWWW says: "It’s not just a case of Arsenal being unable to match other teams in financial terms as Arsene Wenger has won titles by not spending as big as the others in the past. However, I think the hole left by Jeremie Aliadiere is just too big. I was obviously sad to see him leave this summer. It’s not just his goals that will be missed but his presence as well. Any Arsenal fans who thought his departure would not cause a problem were kidding themselves..." Thanks for that, perhaps Wrighty has been taking motivational tips from William Gallas?

Loan Star Updates...
Arsenal.com are giving us updates to all of our various loaned players, and they call it Loan Watch, I like that.

Johan Djourou - Chelsea 3-2 Birmingham City, August 12th - Johan Djourou did well and made a good goal line clearance from Frank Lampard, however, Birmingham lost 3-2 to Chelsea at Stamford Bridge...

Matthew Connolly - Sheffield United 2-2 Colchester United, August 11th - Connolly played 90 mins, and his side won a well earned point away at Bramall Lane...

Kerrea Gilbert - Southend United 1-2 Leyton Orient, August 11th - Gilbert also played 90 mins, but couldn't stop his Southend side slipping to a home defeat...

More later people... don't forget to check out FrankTV, Big Frank Lampard's larger than life appearance on the smaller than er... life TV screen.