In Arsene We Trust...
Assistant manager Pat Rice has revealed that rumours of his impending departure are not true. There were rumours afoot that he was to do one due to the ill health of his wife, but the Rice-meister was having none of it: "To put the record straight, there is absolutely no truth in the rumours that have been going about. The first rumour on a website claimed that I was leaving because my wife is in ill health. That is completely and utterly a lie. I'm really surprised and disappointed that someone would say something like that when it's not true. As far as I am concerned, my role this summer is no different to how it has been since Arsène came here in 1996..."

Pat Rice will be the new face of Reactolite sunglasses for the summer season, and its also thought that he could be in line for the Calvin Klein gig as Freddie Ljungberg has let himself go a bit... see below.

Toffees Join Bun Fight...
Everton have supposedly joined us and man united in the race to sign Cardiff's Aaron Ramsey. Its thought that all three sides have had bids accepted and Liverpool will also join the running. man united had siad that a fee had been agreed for the youngster but no official announcements from the Cardiff camp have been made...

No Sympathy for Bitter Swede...
If only one person gets how clever that headline is, I'll be happy... anyways, talking of camp, Freddie Ljungberg has been slagging of the Manager who discovered him, and made him the player he is today, Sir Wenger. Freddie said in a scathing attack: "It's all about my injuries. Wenger simply doesn't like those who show a weakness. With him, you generally feel as if you were in the army - it's only in public that he may appear to be some sort of man of liberal views. In reality, his belief is natural selection. The truth is I picked up a knock doing my job and following Wenger's instructions. I always played like this and, at some point, ran out of luck. So while I was being treated for the injury, they went out and found a different player for my position..."

"Why did they let Thierry Henry go? When I found out about his move, I realised that the Arsenal I used to play for was finished. So I went to West Ham in order to play against Arsenal as often as possible. I wanted to prove that Freddie Ljungberg hadn't had his last word as a player, and at West Ham, no one gives you a puzzled look if you get called up for your national team and players are never asked to play on injections. I would like to stay there - if they offer of course..." Good luck with that.

Jens for the Memories...
Jens Lehmann has finally done Ein and joined VFB Stuttgart in the worst kept secret since Rio Ferdinand announced his Dad actually was a camel. Stuttgart coach Armin Veh said: "Jens Lehmann was the one we wanted from the start as goalkeeper, his quality is unquestioned and our whole team will profit from his experience..."

Lehmann himself said: "The talks with those in charge at VfB Stuttgart were very pleasant from the start, I'm looking forward to Stuttgart and the Bundesliga and want to contribute my part to the new season..."

Good luck Jens, you mad German bastard, we wish you well.

Adams Signs... for Portsmouth...
More rumours blown out of the water today as Tony Adams renews his contract on the Portsmouth back room staff for another year. Peter Storrie said: "It has been verbally agreed for him to stay. Obviously we are delighted with this news as he has become a key part of what we are trying to achieve at this football club..." Portsmouth won the FA Cup last season under Harry Redknapp's control...

Bacary Breezes In for Another Few Seasons...
Bacary Sagna has signed a long-term contract and will remain at Arsenal for at least another 3 years its been revealed. See Arsenal.com for full details on the Frenchman's extension, and we don't mean his kitchen...

More later perhaps? Perhaps not.