Wenger Sticks Up for WG...
Following recent reports that William Gallas isn't fit to be captain or even play for Arsenal, Sir Wenger has been swift to stick up for his Captain. After the Chelsea defeat, he said: "I believe he had not the best of performances on Sunday, and he would be the first to agree with that, but I don't question his leadership nor his position in the team. You have the same William Gallas - and the same people said it was a good choice to make him captain when we were five points ahead, and you have not to go too much overboard..."

There were also comments taken out of context about Theo Walcott, and Wenger justified those: "He said Walcott could be the next Wayne Rooney, but he has to work. What is wrong with that? You want at 18 years of age to not work? It's unbelievable. I read it really carefully, it didn't say anything wrong on that. After the way it has been turned, yes..."

Wenger also admitted we aren't having the best of times: "William has my full support and my full backing and I am completely behind him, and behind the team as well. We are going through a bad patch, I agree with you, but we want to come back and win the games again that we can win..."

And to answer ArsenalShorts' line of questioning, rumours that Gallas had stamped on a puppy were also hastily denied by Sir Wenger at his Friday Conference this Thursday by him leaving abruptly saying "Zut Alors" or summink...

More Good News! Yeah!
As if chucking away a potential eight point lead, losing a striker with a broken leg, man u and Chelsea coming into form as the season comes to a head, more great news! Bacary Sagna is out for up to five weeks just in time for our tripe header against Liverpool! Result! One of our best players of the season picked up an ankle injury during our fun filled defeat by Chelsea and will now miss most of the rest of the season. Sir Wenger dressed up in Emanuel Eboue's tiger outfit to declare, through a comedy megaphone that: "He has an ankle injury and the first news that we have is that he could be out for quite a while, I don't know how long he will be out but I feel it will be three weeks at least. Five is the worst. I have seen the injury again on tape. He wanted to kick the ball out and he twisted his ankle. That made it a bad injury..."

REDaction is BACK!
Check out REDaction.org, they're back. I think they're last update was around 2 years ago, sound familiar...?

Nick Dane Czech's Out Joke Insert Here...
Nicklas Bendtner can score after all! And he did! For his country against the Czech Republic in the week...

If you're ever feeling down, grab your purse and get a taxi to the other side of town, and check out the Spurs trophy cabinet... see, there's always someone worse off...

Swiss Rolls In...
Sir Wenger is apparently on the look out for Serbian midfielder Zdravko Kuzmanovic. The 20 year old star plays for Fiorentina, and our other mid-table brothers Newcastle are also tracking the player but its being reported that we are already in talks with the players representatives. Sir Wenger is also alledged to be tracking Tranquillo Barnetta who plays for Bayer Leverkusen its reported...

Spaniard In the Works...
Cesc Fabregas has split with his agent over his desire to remian at The Emirates, shunning any money spinning moves to Real Madrid. Fabregas gets paid over £100 a week to play for the Arsenal, and could almost treble that with a move abroad, but prefers to stick around and his agent got in a right old huff about it and did one back to whence he came from...

More Matt Claptrap...
According to this big liars and makers up of stuff TribalFootball Mathieu Flamini is still talking to the club about a new deal: "Like I said before, I am very happy at Arsenal and my agents are talking with the club..."

Wenger to Bolster Squad...?
Sir Wenger is about to swoop for two of the hottest properties on the European game in the coming weeks. Cheif Scout Gilles Grimandi has been spotted in talks with both Ruel Fox and Jason Euell and Sir Wenger is expected to make a move soon to pull together a squad capable of challenging Spurs for honours next season...

THIS ARTICLE IS FILED UNDER: "ANOTHER TOKEN UPDATE TO PRETEND WE'RE GETTING BACK ON TRACK BUT IN REALITY, WE'RE NOT..."